Trusting God

Hey all!

Hope you had a great week. Light the World started! It's been so cool to see all the posts on Facebook and the focus on the Savior. I love it. 

This week was interesting. 

I said goodbye to my MTC district! Most of them flew out on monday. There were four of us left on Tuesday, which was my last day. I loved the MTC! It wasn't easy to sit on a computer for up to 10 hours a day, but I learned so much and met some great people. 

Wednesday was the day that I was supposed to fly out to Michigan. The Mission Department delayed my departure until we figure out what's wrong with my ear and see if I'm going to need surgery. So since Tuesday, I've been at home, still a missionary, but just waiting to figure this all out. Well, we finally got some more answers on Friday. 

Mom called Mayo clinic on Wednesday, and they got us in for Friday! The fact that we got in that quickly was a miracle. We tried Mayo because we wanted another opinion. Two ENT doctors have said I have cholesteatoma, and then a surgeon who works at Johns Hopkins said it wasn’t cholesteatoma. We were able to get into Mayo and get a final opinion, and he diagnosed it as cholesteatoma. This means I need surgery and can't go out into the mission field until mid-January at the earliest. He scheduled me for surgery on Dec. 24th. (this could change. they are cancelling surgeries to make room for covid patients. BE CAREFUL out there guys its getting bad again!) He was a very kind doctor, and worked with me to figure out what we can do so that I can go out on my mission as soon as possible. A lot of times people with this condition need two surgeries to make sure that the cholesteatoma is completely gone. He said if I need two surgeries, he would probably be able to do the second surgery after my mission was over. (which is a miracle!) I just wouldn't be able to hear out of my left ear while out on my mission. So, we'll see what happens! To me, the fact that we were able to get this doctor who is kind and willing to work with us on a personal level is a blessing. I was asking my mom yesterday why we were allowed to have a sliver of hope when we thought there was a possibility it wasn't cholesteatoma. But then I realized, if we hadn't had that sliver of hope, we would never have fought to get another opinion, and we would have stuck with doing surgery in Feb., and a follow up surgery 9 months later. There would have been no possibility I could serve. Now, I still have a chance to serve. I know God has been in the details of this process. 

To be honest, this email isn't super easy for me to write. Usually, weekly emails as a missionary are supposed to be about all the experiences the missionary has out in the field serving the people and learning the Gospel, not about medical updates.It was hard for me to not be able to fly out on Wednesday. But, even though my weekly emails have been a little bit different, I know that I am still serving the mission that God needs me to serve, even if it looks different than others' missions. I feel that I've been able to serve, and I've definitely been learning the Gospel on an even deeper level. I still don't know all the reasons why I can't serve my mission in Michigan right now. But, I do know that God has a plan. He knows exactly what's happening. That's so comforting to me. it's easy to wonder "why didn't I get the miracle I was praying for? Why is it cholesteatoma? and why now?". But, I know that there have been soooo many miracles along the way. They're just different miracles than the one I had in mind. And, I know that part of having faith is trusting in His timing, and being ok when His will is not our own. I listened to a talk by elder maxwell this week. in it he said "Life is not linear, it is experiential". Sometimes the answers to our prayers are different than what we expect them to be, and that. is. okay. that's how it's supposed to be a lot of the time. And, who knows, i might still get to go to Michigan, just later than I originally thought I would. If y'all would, pray that my surgery won't get cancelled!

I'm grateful to know I have a Savior who loves me and knows me. I'm grateful I can serve Him. We can all serve Him, we don't have to be full time missionaries to do so. 

Love you all! 

Sister Ross. 

Pictures: 

1) a quote from elder Holland that I love. y'all should read his talk "waiting on the Lord" from this last conference. 

2) my fav scriptures

3) something cool I saw on Facebook

4) my MTC companion!